At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.
"The most important sex organ is the brain."
~ LESSON #9
You've heard of men thinking with the wrong head. Women are guilty of this too, you know. I blame this on the movies. All those sweeping romantic scenes showing the gorgeous guy seducing the lucky gal and falling head over heels in love, happily ever after. Bah.
First of all, how many times does the hot guy seduce the plain Jane in real life? Without beer goggles? And even under truly lucky circumstances, how long does he actually stick around? And who's to say she would live happily with him forever? More than likely he is a Mimbo or a Mama's Boy and that's certainly not making life a bed of roses.
So that sounds a bit harsh, pessimistic and wet blanket of me. But it is generally the reality. Hooking up with that guy because he is cute, bats his eyelashes that women would kill for and promises love is not a good enough reason to go all the way. As cheesy as The Bachelorette can be, at least that chicky takes the guys out for a few spins and tries to see through all the perfectness on their dates for the real dude underneath. But wait - then she talks herself into the fairy tale and hands out roses in search of a proposal. So maybe she's not the best analogy here.
Use your brain, not your libido. And if that desire is just too damn overwhelming to think straight, picture your parents having sex and kill the moment fast. Ask your friends what they think of your new infatuation and listen to their instincts if yours are blinded. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones - your heart and other organs lead you straight to lifelong bliss in addition to hot sex. But risking that for a roll in the hay can be sidestepped with a deep breath, a cold shower and patience. Nothing wrong with being a tease until you are sure they're the one for you.
First of all, how many times does the hot guy seduce the plain Jane in real life? Without beer goggles? And even under truly lucky circumstances, how long does he actually stick around? And who's to say she would live happily with him forever? More than likely he is a Mimbo or a Mama's Boy and that's certainly not making life a bed of roses.
So that sounds a bit harsh, pessimistic and wet blanket of me. But it is generally the reality. Hooking up with that guy because he is cute, bats his eyelashes that women would kill for and promises love is not a good enough reason to go all the way. As cheesy as The Bachelorette can be, at least that chicky takes the guys out for a few spins and tries to see through all the perfectness on their dates for the real dude underneath. But wait - then she talks herself into the fairy tale and hands out roses in search of a proposal. So maybe she's not the best analogy here.
Use your brain, not your libido. And if that desire is just too damn overwhelming to think straight, picture your parents having sex and kill the moment fast. Ask your friends what they think of your new infatuation and listen to their instincts if yours are blinded. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones - your heart and other organs lead you straight to lifelong bliss in addition to hot sex. But risking that for a roll in the hay can be sidestepped with a deep breath, a cold shower and patience. Nothing wrong with being a tease until you are sure they're the one for you.
6 comments:
Not that I'm putting down sex... but finding a best friend to marry is much more important than finding Clark Gable, or Brad Pitt or even George Clooney. Now if you can find a BFF that looks like George. . . perfection.
I'm right there with ya. Sex is a great thing, but from someone who has been with the same man for 21 years, there is so much more to it than that! I often sound like I'm jaded but there you go! You actually have to LIKE the guy!
So true. Sex can be fun, but it fizzles fast if there isn't anything else to build beyond the chemistry, which tends to be short-lived if there isn't a real connection beyond lust. At least that has been my experience.
AMEN! I always say what you want and what you need are usually two different things!
Don't you just hate the new spate of hospital or crime drama TV shows where all the doctors and nurses look like they just stepped out of GQ and Vogue? Really? I've never, ever had one dr/nurse who looked like that, and I'm not sure I would trust them if they did. Oh, and they all speak cleverly and wittily all the freakin' time! Yeah, that's what they all sound like, for sure.
Hmmm, what was this post about? Oh, yeah. Brains, sex, organs...right. Remember when I confessed that I used to read Harlequin Romances when my kids were little? It was kinda like that for me with all those virile, handsomeoutthewazoo dudes in those stories. I got to thinking that my marriage should be like those stories, and it caused a little friction between us until I came to my senses, thank God. One of the many reasons why I stopped reading that trash.
See? I DO know how to get back on topic.
Sex is not the thing to base a long term relationship on. Of course, some people aren't looking for long term realtionships (at least they say they aren't!).
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