Tuesday, October 25, 2011

ON FUN ~ Why So Serious?...

At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."
~ LESSON #4

Is this a nicer way of saying, "laugh at yourself along with everyone else?" Does it mean that we should not be so self-absorbed? Or egotistical? I'm not sure, really. To me, being serious about yourself is a good thing. It promotes self-esteem and the strength to pursue your dreams.

But you do also need to be able to laugh at yourself. Laughter is healing and it provides great perspective. It is not often intended to be cruel when it is directed towards you. Usually it is an instinct to chuckle at little mishaps because we all have them.

However, I don't want to be a laughingstock. I want others to take me seriously. To see me for the strong and capable person that I am. To know that I am the best woman for the job, the best friend for guidance, the best partner for support.

I don't take myself so seriously. But I sure do hope someone does.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

ON MOVIES ~ This Is The End...

Feature Presentation...
MONDAY MOVIE MEME

Molly looked around for a weekly meme about movies and did not have any luck. So therefore she decided to start her own! Andy will play along as well - hopefully you will too. Go to your blog and create your own post on the topic, linking back to us in your post, then come back and leave a link to your post here in our Comments section. If you don’t have a blog, just share your response in the Comments section.

This week's movie topic is all about Endings...

About three months ago, I left everyone hanging with the Monday Movie Meme.

I created this meme three years ago and never missed a week until my son Sammy was born. It is quite challenging to come up with a new topic each week for three years. It is also quite challenging to come up with movies or actors that you haven't highlighted in your selections before. Things can get stale otherwise.

Each week I would come up with a topic idea on the fly based on events happening in our real world. It was a fun way to personalize this meme and give visitors a window into our world.

As Sammy's arrival approached, I considered farming out the meme to select guest bloggers to keep the meme going. But to be honest, I liked the fact that our son's birth would legitimize a long term hiatus of the meme that had become more work than pleasure. And so, I abruptly stopped the meme, as well as posts of most any kind for several weeks.

Loyal and new meme participants alike carried on the torch in their own ways. Some continued the original format as new hosts on their own sites. Others used their Mondays to talk film on their blogs with a different spin. I am a bit protective of the Monday Movie Meme name and format, but recognize that I don't own a copyright to it and am honestly just happy that it may have inspired others to carry the torch so to speak.

We don't have much time to watch movies any more. And it is going to take us several decades to get through our Netflix queue of titles we learned about through our little meme. I wanted to take the time to formally thank all of you for playing along week to week or leaving comments with your responses here and on participants' posts.

I have no intention of reviving the Monday Movie Meme again, because I don't want to "jump the shark." But I felt it wrong to just kill it off without giving you the motivation behind things. After all, good movie murderers have an insidious past history that explains why they butcher teenagers in their path. I thought you should know the reason behind the plug being pulled on the Monday Movie Meme. Here are our favorite endings in film. Share on your blog movies with endings that felt complete to you and link back here so that others can find you. And don't forget to visit your fellow participants!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

ON FUN ~ Changes...


At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"However good or how bad a situation is, it will change."
~ LESSON #31

Boy oh boy do I live this lesson every day now. Sammy is screaming his head off for some indiscernible reason for a good 30 minutes. I mean bloody murder kind of screaming. Like his mother is pulling off his toenails slowly kind of screaming. Which of course I'm not. I'm doing laps around my house and switching him from shoulder to shoulder as often as possible to avoid the one armed Popeye muscle a la those tennis players like Nadal. I'm bouncing, dancing, singing (maybe that's why he's screaming) and shushing. Oh when oh when will this ever end?

And then his eyes lock on to something random - an overhead light, the TV weather forecast, a piece of furniture he never noticed before. And the screaming stops. Its over. Afraid to awake him from his calm trance I just keep doing whatever it was I was doing when he stopped, unsure if my hopping on one foot or patting his back or humming that terrible jingle is what is keeping him happy or if it truly is just that dust bunny in the corner capturing his attention.

So there we are for another 10 minutes or so in peace and quiet, the TV stuck on the wrong channel because I'm horrified to disrupt the calm and chance reaching for the remote taunting me a mere foot away on the table. Just as my left arm is about to fall off from being frozen in a never ending Red Light, Green Light game with a baby, and a very hungry cat tickling my ankles looking for dinner, reinforcements arrive. Andy is home from work.

His arrival snaps Sammy out of his trance and he turns to see who has arrived. Spinning around, I hold my breath to see if he will start screaming again or remain calm. Andy greets his little Bumble with a big hello and receives a slow growing toothless grin that turns into a big smile and happy coo. Hurrah!

Relieved and eager for peaceful family time at the end of a long day I look down into my arms, just in time to see sweet Sammy's smile turn into a quivering chin and a pouting mouth that emits a long crescendo of a wail. Just like that, the switch has been flipped. In less than an hour, we have gone from hysterics to dead calm to joy to misery. Nothing is static in the world of a baby. Just as nothing is static for any of us. And as a result, I hand my precious little crying boy over to his father and head off with the cat for something to eat.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

ON BOOKS ~ A Day With The Bookies...


This past weekend, all of Boston's Copley Square was overrun by bookies. Not the gambling kind - the reading kind. And I was among them. For the second year, the city put on its free book festival all day long on Saturday. This event is more than your typical book sellers and author signings, though those are certainly there. The focal point for me is the plethora of panels scheduled throughout the day. These sessions are categorized just like genres in books - Non-Fiction, Fiction, Kids, YA and Poetry.

They also throw in some interactive events such as quizzes, Writer Idol (where they perform 3 minutes of random manuscripts turned in by hopeful writers), spoken word and Flash Fiction Open Mic (where you can read your short story to the crowd). There are Workshops about the craft of writing and the process of publishing. This year they even created an audio version of those Create Your Own Adventure stories that you could download to your phone and then experience the story as you were guided along the city. There is a stage for musical performances, a place for kids to make their own books and keynote speakers - both for kids and adults. My biggest complaint about this festival is that there just isn't enough time to do it all. I would love to see it spread across two full days - but that might keep things from being free to all.

I was not very familiar with any of this year's authors on the various panels but there were some topics up for discussion that piqued my interest. So I hopped on to the commuter rail, leaving Sammy behind for a day with Daddy while I treated myself to a bookish day in the city. I even had time to read on the train! What a luxury :0) Here is a snapshot (verbally) of my day...

FOOD - IN AN ACTUAL RESTAURANT!

OK. So this has nothing to do with the actual book fest. My train was late so I missed the first half of a panel about how the internet keeps us isolated despite social networking. I decided to skip the end of it and get some lunch instead. You know, go be social in the real world instead of alone at a panel. I must tell you that it was a dream to wander into this fabulous little restaurant (Coda in the South End) and have a leisurely lunch instead of passing by the window with drool on my chin as I pushed a stroller and fussy but cute baby (who also has drool on his chin for different reasons altogether). I highly recommend the BLT & E which involves cream cheese and a fried egg.

SPORTS: WRITERS ON DECK

This panel featured three authors writing about baseball players (Jane Leavy on Mickey Mantle), baseball parks (Glenn Stout on Fenway's 100 year existence) and baseball history (Thomas Whalen on the original Red Sox dynasty). It also delved into how sports writers have had to adapt with the diminished opportunities in beat writing and newspaper columns, turning instead to online publications, investigative reporting and non-fiction books. The crowd was generally older but this being Boston, there was a fairly equal mix of men and women in attendance - both sexes are raised on sports heavily here. As to the craft of approaching writing in the sports genre, the same approach applies here as in many other genres - harness your emotions and passions and use them to make more personal connections with your readers through your words. The best advice was to never meet your idols. They can only disappoint you. In this day and age, I think we are all better served idolizing writers instead of athletes anyway.

TRUE STORY

This session was filled to the brim with adults of all ages and an even mix of men and women as far as I could tell. We were all there to hear from three non-fiction writers about the true stories they documented and the process involved. They wrote about civil liberties (Michael Willrich of Brandeis on the Small Pox epidemic), dynamic families (Emma Rothschild of Harvard on a Scottish family in the 1700's) and survival (Mitchell Zuckoff of Boston University on the rescue of plane crash survivors in Dutch New Guinea in WW2). All of these writers were terrific to listen to - such passion for and knowledge of the subjects they shared with us. They all spoke to the scavenger hunt they embarked on for research and how their books' subjects came about accidentally so it is important to get sidetracked. For them, the internet is a tool that, in paraphrasing Emma, makes them lucky to be able to wander in the archives of history while living when real books are still piled around us. I left this session realizing that non-fiction writers are truly collectors of lost stories and I look forward to reading all of the books covered here. Maybe some day I'll get lucky with my endless distractions and find a worthy topic to turn into a book myself!

MEMOIR: WRITING A LIFE

I am drawn to memoirs like metal to a magnet. Apparently I am not alone. This session was also very full. But it was interesting to note that there were far more women than men here. There was also a small presence of younger girls. Here we were treated to four authors who were brave enough to share their own inner lives in print and in person. There was the humor of running a family business (Ben Ryder Howe's My Korean Deli: Risking It All For A Convenience Store), the sadness of a Cuban child separated from his family for a better life in America (Carlos Eire's Learning To Die In Miami: Confessions Of A Refugee Boy and also Waiting For Snow In Havana: Confessions Of A Cuban Boy), a childhood of self-discovery in the 50's (Maisie Houghton's Pitch Uncertain: A Mid-Century Middle Daughter Finds Her Voice) and the challenge of surviving food allergies (Sandra Beasley's Don't Kill The Birthday Girl: Tales From An Allergic Life). Do memoirists have better memories than the rest of us? No. They tend to keep journals. And they also paraphrase/create dialogue - they don't remember conversations word for word. They also point out that each person tells a different story of the same circumstance because you can't fact check memory. Accuracy in chronology is not as important to them as the story of the events overall. Mixing in humor/historical or scientific facts to parallel your own personal history can make things more universal and appealing to more readers. In the end, a memoir is about relationships. With ourselves, our religion, our family, our politics, our geography, our food, our arts, our geography - or a lament over the lack of any of these relationships. As Sandra said, "no story is too familiar if you find a unique lens to frame it."

I enjoyed my time with these authors, the moderators (Bill Littlefield and Robin Young of NPR & WBUR and author Leslie Gilbert-Lurie) and my fellow bookies. I found it refreshing to be surrounded by folks who were eager for spirited discussions with strangers rather than the solitary engagement with technology via texting and smart phones. There were lots of noses in books, but that is forgiven. And those noses were in real books, not e-books. Authors can't sign your Kindle after all.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

ON FUN ~ Shots Help, But Patience Is Better...


At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"The passage of time heals almost everything. Give time time."
~ LESSON #30

I hold a grudge. I truly do. I am still pissed off at my friends who wouldn't let me play in their fantasy football league because I am a girl. I moved on and found another league to play in, and we all know how that turned out for me. So it really isn't worth my energy continuing to feel hurt and angry that my friends were sexist pigs. I'm over it. Really, I am. It did take some time though.

Heartache takes a lot of time to heal too. Missing someone you've loved. Or recognizing that they didn't love you back. Boy does that hurt. I try to employ the bend but don't break law of love myself. Never let a broken heart sink you. You are the captain of yourself, heart included. But that doesn't mean you have to go down with the ship. Hop on one of those life buoys and save yourself. After some time, you'll learn to steer through choppy waters again, and with better success.

Time doesn't make things go away. It does help take the sting off though. A drunken night out with the girls can do that too. But time doesn't give you the hangover all of those shots will.

Monday, October 10, 2011

ON BLOGGING ~ A Bumble's Solution To Time Management...


I complained on Friday and brainstormed over the weekend. This is what I came up with. Visit the dedicated page for all the details and to find out how to get these ninjas to come and help you...

Thursday, October 6, 2011

ON BLOGGING ~ Priority Reading...


Image courtesy Christine via Flickr

In the past, I have shared my method for reading all of your blog posts. It is a fairly simple concept that worked nicely for me until I had a baby. And then my routine disappeared. The slots of time that were nicely organized in my world now belong to an eleven pound bundle of energy. What little time I have when Andy tags in for Daddy Duty when he gets home from work is generally devoted to work, chores and writing posts. When Sammy agrees to take a nap that doesn't require me to drive or push a stroller, I pick a blogger in my Google Reader folders to visit and catch up on their posts. This happens once or twice a week. Bad baby.

So it is time for an emergency method until I get a semblance of schedule back in my life. And this is the best that I could come up with. Why not just take that time that I spend writing posts over the course of one week and use it instead to read posts that other bloggers have written? Give myself a week off from producing posts and devote my energy into reading everyone else; leisurely and with my full attention.

And wouldn't it be cool if other bloggers did the same thing at the same time? So that we were all just taking one week to visit each other, read and engage without the pressure of trying to balance the creation of posts with the reading of others - which always seems to get bumped to the bottom of the priority list.

If we knew when this week would be, we could spend time the week before putting our best foot forward so to speak on our own blogs, posting funny, cool, informative or inspiring posts for everyone to read when they went visiting the following week. That way we would all have really great writing, photos and videos to check out all week long. We would be entertained continuously. We would meet some new bloggers. We would be able to do more than scan. We would be on a vacation from blogging...in the blogosphere!

I have no creative ideas for a witty name for this idea. I have no abilities to create buttons to promote it. I don't even know if anyone else would want to join in. For all I know, it already exists somewhere out there and I just haven't found it yet. But I do know this. If I don't give this new method a try for myself pretty soon, I'll be missing out on what you have to say. And after spending all day with a baby, I could really use the adult conversation ;0)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

ON FUN ~ Mind Your Own Business...


At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"What other people think of you is none of your business."
~ LESSON #29

Ah, that Regina. She's got a sense of humor doesn't she? Clever gal, wording that lesson the way she did. Funny how we spend so much time worrying about what everyone else thinks of us, when really none of that matters. All that matters is what we think of ourselves. If you can live with yourself, then you're good. If others think you are terrible, cheap, ugly, mean, snobbish, greedy, egotistical or fat - that isn't for you to deal with. That is for them to reconcile if they were to get to know the real you. And hey - maybe they think you are wonderful, classy, beautiful, kind, down to earth, giving, humble or super skinny. Do you have them all fooled or are they smart enough to recognize the truth? Again - it isn't your issue.

Self-esteem is a most important quality to focus on throughout our lives. It is also a fairly selfish concept if you think about it. It teaches us to put ourselves before others, in a way. To worry about getting our own internal self in order before subjecting ourselves to the rest of the world. To not rely on other people to build an opinion of ourselves but to believe in ourselves for ourselves. Worrying about what other folks feel about you is second nature. Treating others' opinions of you as "none of your business" makes it a little easier to avoid that trap.

I'm sure there are people out there who think I am selfish for giving up on breast feeding my son so soon. Not my business. Doesn't affect me one iota. I know the details behind my decision and they were anything but self-serving. I'm also sure there are people out there who think I am handling motherhood beautifully. Not my business. Doesn't affect me one iota. I know that I have many days where I feel incapable of doing anything right for this little baby. That I second guess things all the time. That a lot of the time I am confused, tired and annoyed. I'm being played by a two month old every day.

We all have opinions about each other. Sometimes it is a gut feeling and other times we think it is based on the facts. But in reality, the only person who knows the truth is the person themselves. What we think matters to us, but it doesn't matter to them. Or at least it shouldn't. Because to be strong inside, they are minding their own business, not worrying about our opinion of theirs.

Does Sammy look like he cares that his favorite bouncy chair is girly girl pink? Nope. His self-esteem is strong. I intend to help him learn to keep it that way ;0)