Wednesday, June 17, 2009

ON FUN ~ Secrets to our Success...



Edition #33

Thirteen Things about THE BUMBLES -
and the Secrets to our Success...


We have known each other for just about half our lives. We met during college in Boston and spent 4 years as great friends. Then we dated for for 7 more before getting engaged. It only took 7 months to have the wedding. And we have been married coming up on 7 years this fall. In all of that time we have learned a lot about ourselves and what makes it work for us. Here are 13 of them...


1. Have things in common - We spend so much time together and it helps that we both enjoy spending time the same way rather than one being bitter that they are always sacrificing their fun stuff for the other's. We'll drop anything to go to a baseball game or take a road trip off the beaten path to look for interesting sites.

2. But be good at different things - Andy specializes in cooking, opening jars, working heavy equipment and navigating. Molly's specialties are cleaning, working remotes, keeping budgets, and documenting memories.

3. Don't be too sensitive - We tease each other all the time. Molly mimics Andy's Boston accent all the time and he knows to just do the opposite of Molly's navigational instincts.

4. Remember the little things - Mental notes about a certain something mentioned in passing easily turns into a special present. Andy bought Temperpedic pillows for Valentine's Day one year after Molly's passing comments (constant nagging) about his snoring. That small gesture may not seem very romantic but it made a big difference.

5. Remember alone time - Everyone needs their own space and time. Andy turns into Concert Boy heading off to let loose at a concert and Molly is more than happy to stay behind with a good book enjoying the peace and quiet.

6. But make room for date night - We like to keep Fridays to ourselves with a movie at home and an unhealthy dinner treat. It doesn't always work out that way but we make an effort - even if Andy ends up snoring on the couch.

7. Compromise - You have to give a little to get a little. The DVR is great for this. Molly records all her Reality TV shows so Andy can watch his hockey games. Then he doesn't complain when Molly puts him through a personal marathon of them on the weekend.

8. Be each other's biggest fan - Andy is very supportive of Molly's travel writing foray - never complaining when she drags him off to various attractions for new material. Molly is very proud of Andy's softball managerial skills - even though she shows her support via #3 more often than not.

9. Brush off each other's slumps - Being supportive of successful ventures is easy. Sticking with someone through the lows is more challenging. We are there for each other through everything. Serious roadblocks and little bumps in the road - we plow through them together.

10. Patience - As mentioned in #3, Molly is not blessed with an inner compass. Andy patiently maps out routes for her to unfamiliar places (like the grocery store). Molly patiently waits for Andy to figure out that a Garmin would make a nice birthday present.

11. Live vicariously through others - We know our limits - financially and energetically. We would love to do nothing but travel around exploring the world with no set agenda. But then again, we might get real sick of each other after a while - not to mention ending up broke. So lucky for us we have friends who took their savings, found a way to take a year off of work and traveled all around the world. We fell in love with their photos and heard great stories. And maybe someday when we get our act together we can use their experience to plan a few trips ourselves.

12. Live day by day - Rather than becoming depressed about unfulfilled dreams, it is better to live in the present and just be happy for what we have that day. When you focus on the here and now a little more often, it changes your perspective. Instead of getting overwhelmed with how to find time to accomplish all those things Molly has put on the to do list, Andy takes a deep breath and finds a way to cross off a few one day at a time. See how that makes life better for everyone involved?

13. Love every minute - It takes a lot of energy to hold a grudge. It's a lot easier to let things go and laugh it off. Just because we've spent almost half our lives together doesn't mean it could always be that way. Might as well enjoy the moments we share - happy memories make better stories anyway.

P.S. - I'm sure as a good follower/participant of T13 that you already visit T13's co-host, Janet @ Fond of Snape. But if you don't - hop on over there today and you'll discover our guest post on her blog today. Something to do with Andy & a Chicken...

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. What do you do? Write Thirteen things about yourself, summarize your week in one entry, make it easy for other bloggers to get to know you on a weekly basis. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is not only encouraged, it is part of being a Thursday Thirteener! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun!

17 comments:

Brenda ND said...

Lots of great advice! Kudos on your long and happy relationship!

☆Willa☆ said...

your #12 is perfect idea! I love your list.
My Thursday Thirteen

anthonynorth said...

A recipe for success, there.

Hazel said...

If my ex and I had somehow worked on at least half of similar ways on your list, I guess we would still be together. Great list. Will keep them in mind for "future use."

Thorne said...

Awww... you forgot "build skating rinks with the neighborhood and drink hot buttered rum to celebrate!" I would add "remember to be appreciative (noone cares to be taken for granted)", but this post shows so well that you both are.
Peace!

I am Harriet said...

So true. Great list.

http://iamharriet.blogspot.com/2009/06/thursday-thunks-and-13-business-that.html

Carleen said...

Your list is my life, too. Maybe that's how the Amazing Egyptian Dude and I have managed to avoid killing one another for the past 28 years, LOL!

ChandaDiane said...

A list full of great advice. It's pretty easy to fall away from any of these ingredients of a happy relationship. Hard work, everyday but well worth every bit of it!
Best of luck, Bless!

perpstu said...

Great advice! We are coming up on 10 years this October and would give the same tips to a lot of people we know!

LingoVise Says... said...

I think being friends is really the foundation for a wonderful relationship. My Honey & I just celebrated our 18th anniversary, and like you, we started out as friends. Fabulous list - thanks for sharing. Happy TT!

http://tincancanoe.blogspot.com/

Paige Tyler said...

What a great TT! I totally agree!

*hugs*
Paige

My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/

Pamela Kramer said...

Yea, I'm thinking I need to send this post to someone I know.

camerapatty said...

That is a good success story. Thank you for sharing. I may have to implement a few into my relationship.

Wishing you a scent-sational TT!
Patty

http://camerapatty.wordpress.com/2009/06/18/potd-there-are-thirteen-of-them-actually/

Erika said...

Awesome relationship advice! Congratulations on your success. It takes time, patience and hard work, and you're doing it!

Jenn Escalona said...

Hooray! Now I know all the secrets. I want my marriage to be as successful as the Bumbles', so I'm taking every one of these to heart. :)

Happily Retired Gal said...

Lovely lessons! Thanks for sharing your secrets to success ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

Chris said...

great post! :) thanks for sharing some tips too!