Let's say you are in your doctor's waiting room and notice the very becoming hair style on a woman sitting across from you. Do you actually voice your opinion to her or do you keep it to yourself? If you had told her how flattering her cut was it probably would have made her day - or at least given her something nice to think about in an otherwise stressful or potentially unhappy situation. If you had kept it to yourself you would have saved yourself from potential embarrassment, but missed an opportunity to brighten someone else's day. Which is pretty selfish when you think about it.
Unless your compliment comes across as a creepy pick-up line, more likely than not it is going to be received with a smile. Don't be afraid to share nice thoughts about others, even if you don't know them - especially if you don't know them. Unsolicited compliments are the nicest kind because their sincerity is not in question.
A guy at my gym told me several months ago out of the blue that he admired my commitment to exercise since whenever he's randomly there, I'm always there. That it was inspiring and he just thought he'd tell me. And then he went on to wherever it was he was going. I can't tell you how much that made my day. I actually still think about it when I don't really feel like going to work out. His compliment now motivates me to stay healthy. He wasn't hitting on me. He wasn't trying to be friends. He wasn't just a chatty Kathy making conversation. He just wanted to share something nice - and I admire the guts it took to follow through with that thought.
So now I make an effort to share the nice thoughts I have about others. That I noticed the nice gesture they made holding the door open for the people who walked through without so much as a thank you. Or that their outfit looks terrific. Or that their child is so well behaved. A simple nice thought about a stranger may seem small to you but it could mean a lot to the other person. The next time one crosses your mind, share it and make someone's day. I dare you.
14 comments:
Oh honey, being Southern means you talk to EVERYBODY. I talk to folks in line at Wal-Mart, or the gas station or just about anywhere.
I'm not a real people person, but I will compliment people because I like the way it makes me feel to see someone else smile.
I love to make people laugh, even if it's at my own expense. I totally agree with you on this one.
Comments such as those are very easy to offer. And, as you said, heartfelt, if passed onto a stranger. Sometimes I find it easier to compliment a stranger than someone I know much better. Odd. Excellent post.
I know how good it feels when someone compliments me. I always try to do the same with other people, even strangers. However, I know from experience that you do have to be careful about who you pay a compliment to and how you deliver it. I think that the first thing thay goes through a woman's mind is that this guy is hitting on me. If I see something nice about a woman who I don't know, I'll probably not say anything for this very reason.
Oh, I always "brighten the corners" where I go! When my kids were young, they would be so embarassed when I talked to cashiers in the checkout line. If I see someone who looks like they're having a bad day, I usually try to give them a little lift. Especially if someone ahead of me has been rude to the cashier, I always smile and compliment something about them. I just love the feeling it gives me and the sweet looks that appear on their faces. I read once that the smile you give someone might be the only one they see that day. It made an impact on me that has always served me well. :)
Excellent post, and I whole-heartedly subscribe to this way of life. As Dawn says, it is the southern way! There have been several times over the past few years when women will come up to me and complement my legs. My husband was horrified, but I told him that women DO this. They weren't trying to pick me up, they were admiring what they knew was hard-earned calf muscles! I find it a joy in life to leave a trail of happiness in my wake!
So true. Thanks for the reminder. A few simple, specific words can make such a difference. You are a very wise Bumble!
Oh Molly, I couldn't agree more. Being sincerely nice to people is the only way to live. I'll never have enough money to be a great philanthropist and help people financially. But, I can give away my thoughts about the positive things I witness around me.
I've often complimented total strangers (and with sincerity). More often then not its in the clothing stores when someone is trying something new on.
I'm not sure why I do it. But then again there is so much negativity in this world that hearing something from someone who is unbiased can be a bigger blessing than from people we know.
I agree, I love that insurance commercial on TV where one person's kindness affects a whole bunch of people throughout the day. That's the way it is in life. Just a few words of kindness can change not only my own day, but others as well. great post!
I love this post! It's SO true!!!
I have been trying to do this more and more and when I'm out with others they give me the look or say "You're too nice".
That may be true but I know how lovely it is to have just a random compliement from a stranger so why not pay it forward!!
I love this!! Thanks for sharing darlings....and since we are on comliments: I love your blog. It makes me laugh and smile daily.
ps.
Go RED SOX.
You are so right. Even a small compliment can go such a long way. I know how good I feel when I receive a random compliment and I really need to be much better about looking for opportunities to compliment others! As always your blog has given me something to think about (I think that right there might just be a compliment)!
I wish I had such motivation to work out. I'm not too bad with the comments. I missed one today because I was a nervous wreck and I'm still mad that I didn't just say it!
Great post :)
I don't have a compliment censor. I do not hesitate to approach strangers and tell them I admire their custom-made coat or their unique hair or whatever it is that strikes me at any particular moment. I am a big believer in spreading the sunshine. ;)
I just told one of the women at work how much I liked her new haircut, how much it suited her...and she said she had to get it done cause of a fall and that she couldn't lift her right arm to style it. But I said she was lucky...cause it looked so good on her :-)
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