Thursday, September 30, 2010

ON BLOGGING ~ Leave The Hammertoe Out Of It...

BlogAnon: Joy of Confession

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Welcome to our weekly BlogAnon meeting where we confess a particular blogging sin and turn to you for support, suggestions and that blogging bond so we know we're not all alone. Don't be shy. Read along and let us know if you identify with us this week.

You have heard the term TMI, yes? As in Too Much Information? This is a pet peeve of mine in the blogosphere and I'll tell you why.

There is a person in my office who does not have a social filter. Health issues, love life, kids' struggles, family history - you name it, they spill it. Many of these details are uncomfortable to hear, inappropriate in their timing or just plain boring. But the individual without the filter has a big heart and has everyone's back so I forgive the awkward conversation.

I am convinced that many bloggers have face to face filters but use their blogs to spill everything they hold inside. Which is fine. Your blog, your forum. But honestly, just because I've never met you doesn't mean I want to be the recipient of all that stuff you wouldn't dare tell me in person.

I'm not trying to squash personal release. All I'm saying is that there is a way to share personal struggles, pain, complaints or achievements - and a way to make me run for the hills. Give me a taste, not the whole meal. I don't want to read your diary, your journal or eavesdrop like a fly on the wall. I want to know who you are and why you do what you do, but not all the gory details between the lines. I like a bit of subtlety, not the details of your hammertoe. Ick.

*Sigh* Everyone's filter is different. I understand that. Which is the nice part about TMI on a blog - if it bugs me I can just click away. It would be highly rude of me to walk away from the person in my office who was in mid-sentence of an awkward sharing moment. But in the blogosphere you don't even know I'm there unless I tell you. At least there's that.

What types of sharing do you consider to be TMI in the blogosphere? Have you ever abandoned an otherwise lovely blog because of TMI? Or do you wish bloggers would step out behind that curtain and share MORE information for you to lurk on?


Kathleen said...

I've only come across a few blogs that shared too much information (well, what I consider to be too much). I enjoy getting to know a little bit of the person side of the bloggers I follow but I don't mind if people share very little that is personal either.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

I don't read blogs where people lash out at others, air dirty laundry, etc. Not what holds my interest. However, everyone has a bad day now and then. If someone normally has a universal theme to their work, then I can put up with an occasional rant.

Margot said...

I've met my fair share of filter-less people in my life. I believe I have a face that somehow says to people, "Tell me everything." But I haven't run into that in the blog world. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

Wait - could this be me? Was that post I did last week about the lady with the big butt TMI?

Matty said...

I think that TMI, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. What one person considers TMI, another doesn't. If we think that something another person tells us face-to-face is too much, it can be awkward. Depending on your relationship to that person, it can be difficult to end the conversation. But with blogging, as you said, we have the option of clicking away from it. We can simply stop reading that article before we reach the end, or even stop reading that blog altogether.

As for me, it doesn't bother me if someone shares what I consider TMI on their blog. In my view, it's their blog to do with as they please. Everyone writes for different reasons, and that may be their outlet for expressing what they otherwise can't in their personal lives. I've read blogs where the person says right up front at the beginning of the article that the content may be upsetting, but they have to say it, and the reader is forewarned. Likewise, I know people who have secondary blogs where they express their TMI to those willing to consume it. As I've seen so many times in blogger profiles, they write for themselves and not for the reader.

cardiogirl said...

I loved this line, excellent construction:

I'm not trying to squash personal release.

I actually can't think of a blog I've read that had too much personal stuff. It could be that most chicks will preface it with, "This is definitely TMI and the men can leave now."

I guess that's the warning but I'm sure I've never stopped reading a blog because of that.

I would also love to stand in front of another person and quietly turn and walk away as she explained, in detail, what smegma is.

Sandy Nawrot said...

Crap, is this me? I sort of do an info dump on Sundays. In real life, I tend to be an open book emotionally but I only share details with my best friends. They get everything, poor girls.

I do like blogs that share a little bit of their personal lives. I don't want to hear about hemmoroids, but I do like to get a sense of who they are off the blog.

Penny said...

What types of sharing do you consider to be TMI in the blogosphere? Great topic. I agree with this. I consider everything you have always wanted to know about MY kid and more to be TMI. Also a blog I usually frequent but it is few and far between because every little thing is discussed and with lots of vulgarity.

Have you ever abandoned an otherwise lovely blog because of TMI? Or do you wish bloggers would step out behind that curtain and share MORE information for you to lurk on? I have abandoned a few because of the TMI. I feel the same way in real life as well. There are always a few at work that are just a vomit of information. I had the new girl tell me about a sexual encounter with her husband the other day. I am NOT comofortable with this. I stopped her and said: yeah, I don't want to talk about this. Her excuse: We are girls and girls always talk about this stuff. REally?? Because I don't, not even with my best friend.

Sorry, when they were handing out the "I want babies" gene they must have forgot to give me one as well as the "Talk about everything private with a girl" gene.

kaye said...

First of all let me say I love the way the bumble is peeking out over your new header, giving us a glimpse in the bumbles world. Nice . . .

TOO MUCH INFORMATION . . . I try not to put too much out there, but sometimes it's hard to have an objective view when it comes to your own writings.

I usually avoid posts with TMI. But I do have to confess that I have been drawn to some blogs that their whole objective is to put out all the information they can! I've read a number that have to do with illness and recovery. I like the positive ones best. I did follow one of a lady that has the same illness I do--hoping for some guidance for help. But after a time I got so tired of her negative, bitter attitude I had to stop.

lovesmukiwa said...

Oh dear, I am thinking of my blog post about bows on Bras and wondering if I crossed a line.... LOL. Then again, I think there are 13 people who visit my blog - and I don't think I lost anyone.

Lin said...

I have lots of stories to tell, but they are family in nature and family might read it and therefore, the story never gets told. There are a few subjects that I consider taboo and won't write about--and I don't want to read about it either. But everyone's taboo line is different, so it is up to me to decide what I will post and what I will read.

Will I abandon a blog? I don't know. I'm really close on one that is really opinionated on politics, religion, and race--all of which I don't share the same opinion. I'm finding it harder and harder to read, so I don't go there often anymore.

Forgetfulone said...

The lack of a filter! That's my mom! It can be very embarrassing at times.

Thorne said...

Hmmm.... Thornie is late to the party, but I simply MUST reply! This is a big issue for me, personally, on my blog.
I am an "all the way out" kinda gal, both in my life and on my blog. No closets for me. I'm gay, I'm a witch and I question authority. I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. So what IS TMI? If you read my blog you know a bit about me. You know some of my political views (and probably enough to guess where I might stand on many issues), you know that I have walked through some loss and grief, (and I have occasionally posted in a fair amount of depth on these topics- I even have a page dedicated to grief and grieving). What I don't do- and won't do, is post day after day after day on the minuscule variations of my emotional condition, or the minor details of my day. I really don't think anyone cares that the dog tore up my silk roses or that I stubbed my toe on the coffee table and threw a temper tantrum about it.
Those are the kinds of blogs I leave. The ones that read as a personal diary of mundanities. I'm frankly struggling right now with just such a post. I need to write it. I need to let my bloggy buddies know a bit about what's been going on in my life and where I am at the moment, but it's a post fraught with the difficulty of discerning what exactly is TMI and what is the correct tone to take. I'll get there. Thanks for the topic, Bumbles!

stacybuckeye said...

At first I struggled with putting anything personal out there, but as time goes on I want readers to know more. It's a fine line.