At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.
"Life is too short to waste time hating anyone."
~ LESSON #3
I truly only have hatred for two things in life: mushrooms and the New York Yankees. Since mushrooms are not human, I feel no guilt in this regard. As for the Yankee organization? I feel no guilt in that regard either. Sorry. I just don't. I see that logo and hateful thoughts spring into my head. I feel disgruntled and annoyed. I want to pick a fight and get the better of whomever is wearing the garb. Be it a player or a fan. I can't help it. Too many years of repressed jealousy as a Red Sox fan I suppose. Even now, that we have reached the pinnacle of success and continue to compete each season, I still have that knee jerk reaction to the team and their fans.
To be fair, one of my dearest friends is a huge Yankee fan. As is my brother-in-law. I am able to separate the person from the affliction. There is more to a person than the logo on their baseball hat. There is always more than meets the eye. Even the most despicable of humans must have some redeeming quality - or at least a very sad reason beyond their doing as to why they come across so horribly.
That's why it isn't worth the effort, energy and stress involved in developing and acting upon feelings of hatred for others. In general I tend to give folks the benefit of the doubt. If the occasion presents itself, I even try to get to know them beyond the surface they present. See what's underneath that rock they appear to have crawled out from under. And then, if I still get angry at the thought of their presence, I just let it go and move on to better things.
As I alluded to in my thoughts about Lesson #1, life is a blessing and our job is to find the happy path. Hatred blocks that path, causes great inner stress, outward regret and shortens the life we have to live. These days, the news is filled with people exacting violence in the name of hatred. Ironically, rarely does the hatred stem from the individuals eventually harmed. Hatred clouds our judgment and turns crazy thoughts into reality. Don't be that guy. It only leads to the seed of hatred being planted in someone else, directed at you.
I may never get that bubbling anger out of my brain at the sight of a Yankee hat, but I'll take that anger out on the lowly mushroom instead and move on. I'd rather spend my time rooting for the Sox than cheering against the Yankees. Negative energy is counterproductive. Unless they are playing each other. Then it becomes a win win situation.
To be fair, one of my dearest friends is a huge Yankee fan. As is my brother-in-law. I am able to separate the person from the affliction. There is more to a person than the logo on their baseball hat. There is always more than meets the eye. Even the most despicable of humans must have some redeeming quality - or at least a very sad reason beyond their doing as to why they come across so horribly.
That's why it isn't worth the effort, energy and stress involved in developing and acting upon feelings of hatred for others. In general I tend to give folks the benefit of the doubt. If the occasion presents itself, I even try to get to know them beyond the surface they present. See what's underneath that rock they appear to have crawled out from under. And then, if I still get angry at the thought of their presence, I just let it go and move on to better things.
As I alluded to in my thoughts about Lesson #1, life is a blessing and our job is to find the happy path. Hatred blocks that path, causes great inner stress, outward regret and shortens the life we have to live. These days, the news is filled with people exacting violence in the name of hatred. Ironically, rarely does the hatred stem from the individuals eventually harmed. Hatred clouds our judgment and turns crazy thoughts into reality. Don't be that guy. It only leads to the seed of hatred being planted in someone else, directed at you.
I may never get that bubbling anger out of my brain at the sight of a Yankee hat, but I'll take that anger out on the lowly mushroom instead and move on. I'd rather spend my time rooting for the Sox than cheering against the Yankees. Negative energy is counterproductive. Unless they are playing each other. Then it becomes a win win situation.
7 comments:
I have to say that I totally agree with everything you stated in your post here, although it's all exactly the opposite situation for me.
"I see that logo and hateful thoughts spring into my head. I feel disgruntled and annoyed. I want to pick a fight and get the better of whomever is wearing the garb. Be it a player or a fan. I can't help it."
The difference is... I react this way to the Red Sox logo. :-o Isn't it hilarious to have the exact same reactions from both sides of the coin?! And yet, I can tell from habitual reading of your blog that you are a super-terrific and awesome woman! Despite your affiliations. :-D I love that there can be healthy debate without wasting energy on destructive emotions. Keep it coming, girl!
You're lucky that I like you! LOL
Hey, a little bit of ire is what makes that adrenaline pump! Just as long as it enters your heart in short spurts, I think it makes your vision clearer! I love that poster...
OMG. ME TOO. Skankees. yak.
:)
I wonder if there is such a thing as a healthy hate. If there is then hate against a sports team should quality. It should keep a person from hating real people; at least I think it should. On the other hand, once hate enters a person, does it morph into other areas? I'm sticking with your closing arguement: "Negative energy is counterproductive."
While I don't care for some teams, I doubt there is any one I truly "hate". We live in Chicago and the "cool" team to love is the Cubs--even if they suck. You can't get tickets to that craphole of a park, and when you do, nobody watches the game--they are all partying. Needless to say, I am a Sox fan and yes, I do get weary of hearing about Cubs this, Cubs that ALL the time. Do I hate them? Nope. I just enjoy being able to get tickets for a game when I want to go. :)
Oh how I despise the Yankees...don't think I can love them even if it is healthier! Luckily for me my SF Giants FINALLY won something last year and made all of my years of long suffering as their fan all worth it!
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