ON FUN ~ Mind Your Own Business...

At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"What other people think of you is none of your business."

~ LESSON #29

Ah, that Regina. She's got a sense of humor doesn't she? Clever gal, wording that lesson the way she did. Funny how we spend so much time worrying about what everyone else thinks of us, when really none of that matters. All that matters is what we think of ourselves. If you can live with yourself, then you're good. If others think you are terrible, cheap, ugly, mean, snobbish, greedy, egotistical or fat - that isn't for you to deal with. That is for them to reconcile if they were to get to know the real you. And hey - maybe they think you are wonderful, classy, beautiful, kind, down to earth, giving, humble or super skinny. Do you have them all fooled or are they smart enough to recognize the truth? Again - it isn't your issue.

Self-esteem is a most important quality to focus on throughout our lives. It is also a fairly selfish concept if you think about it. It teaches us to put ourselves before others, in a way. To worry about getting our own internal self in order before subjecting ourselves to the rest of the world. To not rely on other people to build an opinion of ourselves but to believe in ourselves for ourselves. Worrying about what other folks feel about you is second nature. Treating others' opinions of you as "none of your business" makes it a little easier to avoid that trap.

I'm sure there are people out there who think I am selfish for giving up on breast feeding my son so soon. Not my business. Doesn't affect me one iota. I know the details behind my decision and they were anything but self-serving. I'm also sure there are people out there who think I am handling motherhood beautifully. Not my business. Doesn't affect me one iota. I know that I have many days where I feel incapable of doing anything right for this little baby. That I second guess things all the time. That a lot of the time I am confused, tired and annoyed. I'm being played by a two month old every day.

We all have opinions about each other. Sometimes it is a gut feeling and other times we think it is based on the facts. But in reality, the only person who knows the truth is the person themselves. What we think matters to us, but it doesn't matter to them. Or at least it shouldn't. Because to be strong inside, they are minding their own business, not worrying about our opinion of theirs.

Does Sammy look like he cares that his favorite bouncy chair is girly girl pink? Nope. His self-esteem is strong. I intend to help him learn to keep it that way ;0)