Tuesday, June 22, 2010

ON FUN ~ I'm Sorry But I Can't Be Your Girlfriend, Hot Spanish Guy...

See that hot guy up there? That's an Argentinian model named Maximiliano Patane. No - I didn't take that picture or meet him. I found that shot on some random message board in a Google Image Search for "hot Spanish guy." No - I don't spend my days searching for photos of hot guys online either. What kind of Bumble do you think I am exactly?! Despite the fact that Google led me to an Argentinian instead of a Spaniard, I selected this image because I'm not really sure of the exact nationality of my brokenhearted boyfriend anyway.

Hmmm? What's that? Oh right. Yes, I am still married to Andy. No, I didn't have an affair. Andy is my soul mate - perfect for me in every way. Except that he doesn't exactly look like good 'ole Maxi up there. Then again I don't exactly look like Penelope Cruz so we're even. But if I WANTED to have a hot Spanish boyfriend, I'm thinking I could have...though maybe I'm just letting my imagination get carried away. Why don't I just tell you what happened and let you be the judge.

Some of you may remember a little series I did a long time ago called Gym Rats which were profiles of the lives I imagined for the random people we saw in our gym. It was a lot of fun to write, but I switched gyms to this small but cheaper place in my office park. No more people to mine for post content since there are just a handful of people working out when I attend.

There are my regulars, those 3 people that I see on a daily basis. There's the guy who looks like a less attractive and stuck up Ben Affleck. He always is using the exercise ball that I prefer just when I need it. Not a fan. There's the tiny Asian guy who runs and runs and runs on the treadmill like he's training for a marathon. He is like a machine. And then there's the Hot Spanish Guy.

He is in no way as hot as Maxi up there, but he shares the same dark complexion, thick black hair and dreamy brown eyes. He is not overly tall, but all that working out has rewarded him with toned muscles. You wouldn't know this from watching him work out in his baggy Cubs T-Shirt, but he sure looks fine when he comes and goes in his work oxford shirt and khaki slacks. And, he has this incredibly sexy accent that is of the Spanish variety. I enjoy eavesdropping to try and learn more about this mystery man that intrigues me each day. But the only words we have ever exchanged are each Friday when he leaves and I am the last one there, sweating away on the Elliptical. As he walks out he always tells me "Good night, have a nice weekend" even though I am always preoccupied with my book and the TV. This signals me to respond "You too" while I watch him walk out and drive away.

Today, as I was wrapping up my workout and getting ready to begin those God-awful crunches I abhor, Hot Spanish Guy (HSG) approached on his way to the locker room and stopped in front of my mat.  He looked down at me with those handsome eyes and it dawned on me that he was actually going to break protocol and speak to me aside from his Friday parting words.

HSG: (in a deep, Spanish accent) "I just wanted to tell you..."
(BIG pause)
me thinking...That you admire my workout dedication? That I have lettuce in my teeth? That you have free tickets to the Red Sox game you can't use?
HSG: "...that I'm leaving."
me thinking...for the day? Oh-kay...
HSG:"My office is moving to their Weston location."

Me: "Oh."
thinking...why is he telling me this?
Me:"Where is it?"
(his Spanish accent sounded like he said Western location)

HSG: "In Weston"
(a town nearby - DUH!)

Me: "Oh! Right. Do they have a gym there?"
(look at me all concerned for his muscles!)

HSG: "Oh yes. The same company that runs this one here runs one at that location."

Me: "Oh that's good."

(awkward pause in this out of the blue conversation...)

HSG: "So my last day is ???"
(I was not listening here - I was trying to figure out why he was telling me this).
HSG:"I will be going on vacation and then when I get back..."

Me: "...your office will have moved to the new place."

HSG: "Right."

Me: "And you don't have to take part in the actual move? That's cool."

HSG: "Yes. Just pack up my desk and that's it."

Me: "Great."
(trying to figure out something to say since he is just standing there smiling)

Me: "So where are you going on your vacation?"

HSG: "Around Europe and then over to Asia."

Me: "Oh WOW! That's awesome! I'm so jealous!"

(HSG laughs at my giddiness - though I have no idea where exactly he's going or what he'll be doing - just that I have never been overseas and envy those who have)

Me: "Are you going to see family and friends or just bounce around?"

HSG: "A little of both."
(damn - obvious planted question to determine nationality once and for all foiled!)

HSG: "Yes. I will be gone for a good while, returning the 12th."
(that date I remember, thinking it was a shame he'd be missing the July 4th fireworks. But I didn't say that out loud realizing that would be a bizarre thing to say to someone who is foreign)

HSG: "Are you going anywhere for a summer vacation?"

Me: "No. Well, we just went to Philadelphia to see the Sox play down there - just a long weekend though.  We went away a bunch last year so we don't have much money or time left for this year."

HSG: "Ah-ha."
(he didn't take the baseball bait so I'm guessing that Cubbies shirt was just a souvenir and not a passion)
me thinking...did he just look away each time that I said "we?"

HSG: "Well, anyway. I just wanted to say that I was leaving, and goodbye..."

Me: (interrupting accidentally) "OK. Well, have fun on your trip!"

HSG: (continuing his thought) "...and that I'm sure our paths will cross again."

Me: "OK. Bye."

As he walked off into the locker room I was left alone with my thoughts enduring those brutal crunches. It dawned on me that perhaps he had a crush on me? Could that be possible? That a Hot Spanish Guy younger than my almost 40 year old ass just went out of his way to speak to me before he left our only common ground, so that he wouldn't regret it later? Is that why he was so out of the blue? Did he really seem dejected when I spoke of the existence of a "we?" Even though my wedding ring has been clear as a bell every day for the last year he's seen me? And how exactly will our paths cross again? Is he planning to stop by this office park for lunch randomly? Is he stalking me? Will I have to get Andy to beat him up? Has it really been over 15 years since I've flirted with someone I don't know? Did he think I was flirting? I totally wasn't flirting. I had no idea where he was going with this very strange conversation. Was he giving me a secret message? Is he some type of Jason Bourne? Because I don't think I want to see Europe that way. Thank God those crunches are over with.

Hmmm. See what happens when the mind has time to wander? I have come to the conclusion that HSG is heartbroken that not only will I not be joining him in Europe, but that I have no idea how to get to Weston. But more than likely he just wanted to finally acknowledge someone he has seen every weeknight for the last year and never had a conversation with. So that I didn't think he'd gotten fired and lost his office park gym privileges. That's probably it - he suffers from that famous Spanish male pride. But just in case, I'm gonna tell Andy all about it when he gets home - maybe he'll get worried and give me roses. ;0)


Susan said...

Oh, good gosh, girlfriend! He was sooooo hitting on you! He obviously was struck by your beauty even though you were most likely dripping sweat all over his shoes. Awesome! I love it!

Sandy Nawrot said...

I guess the person being hit on is the last to know, but yeah, girl, you were being hit on! But of course, because he seems to be a very typcial MAN, he only approaches you when he knows he won't be back! Still it has to make you feel good.

Psst...speaking of Hot Spanish Guy, have you laid eyes on that little number that plays for the Portugal soccer team? Hooo boy, that is a tall drink of water.

Malcolm R. Campbell said...

Maybe he was waiting for some kind of hot Spanish guide code words in your response like "wanna go get some tacos?" or "why does this place always smell like re-fried beans?"

Had you said it, he might have proposed, or proposed something.

When I was younger, I was always waiting to hear those special code words whenever I talked to women who looked like Penelope Cruz.

Never did, though.

Kim said...

That's so sweet. And awkward.

Margot said...

I agree that he was hitting on you but I think it was your gorgeous abs he was admiring. Well, why not, after all that torture you've put yourself through.

Anonymous said...

You go girl! Flirting is fun every 15 years or so ;)

Louise said...

That was a great story and I really had a good time reading it! I think he flirted with you :)

Kathleen said...

I love this story! I would say he was definitely flirting so tell Andy he owes you rose and maybe even dinner too! P.S. I am a sucker for a hot Spanish guy too!

Matty said...

Molly, you're a bright gal. Take it as a compliment that you caught his eye. Not many women your age can do that. Hope this puts a little extra spring in your step next time you're on the treadmill.

soleil said...

dude, he was totally hitting on you.

Lynn said...

Wow, Molly, this is a much better story than the time last summer in the grocery store when a 75ish-year-old man perusing the pork selection told me I had nice legs. Dude, you must be rockin' it on that elliptical machine.