Thursday, March 24, 2011

ON BLOGGING ~ Bitch Session...

BlogAnon: Joy of Confession

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Welcome to our weekly BlogAnon meeting where we confess a particular blogging sin and turn to you for support, suggestions and that blogging bond so we know we're not all alone. Don't be shy. Read along and let us know if you identify with us this week.

I know quite a few people who are happiest when they are most miserable. I don't enjoy this environment and thus avoid prolonged interludes with them as much as possible. Debbie Downer irritating. So when I come across a blogger who does nothing but complain, I move away as fast as possible.

Look. We all vent. For some, their blog is the only outlet they have for the stress, fear, problems and annoyances in their life. Which honestly makes me think that if they did less venting, they'd probably have real people in their lives that they could vent to instead of spewing it throughout the blogosphere. If that makes sense. There is a difference between venting and being a miserable person to be around. It is a direct correlation to the frequency of your complaints.

If you are having a bad day and that psycho stranger in the car next to you cut you off one too many times, that's a ventable offense. But if you vent about the bad driver, the stupid store clerk, the hold time on the phone, the government, the in-laws, your kids' teachers, the dog's bladder, your dead grass, the burnt pizza, your boss, the crappy movie ending, the shrunken laundry, the malfunctioning DVR, the smelly dude on the treadmill and your weight - I want nothing more than to show you photos of ruined families in Japan or Haiti, impoverished children in the Middle East or homeless people on our back doorsteps.

Problems should be occasional. And venting about them can be liberating and many times humorous in their release. Seeing everything as a problem is self-centered and complaining about everything all the time is obnoxious. Because everyone has problems. And we should take turns listening to them.

And yes, I did just spend an entire post complaining about complainers. Your turn to complain about me.

Do you find continuous complainers to be tiring? Do you leave supportive comments on their posts? Are they ever there for you and your complaints?


Staci said...

You will hear me complaining about you..I thought it was spot on and well written!

Lin said...

Oh, I know a few of these people, and I make a quick comment and move on.

That said, I've been known to beef about things and I have found support, suggestions, and some great solutions from the pallies. But I try to keep these to a minimum because they bore even myself.

We all have bad things happen and sometimes they are funny to write about, but too much of that is BORING.

Matty said...

I've seen my share of complainer blogs. I try to steer clear of them too. If I do read a venting post, I might comment depending on the topic issue and whether or not I can relate to it. But no one is ever there for me, simply because there is no need. I don't complain on my blog. Similar to what you said, I always try to remember that there are people worse off than me, so why waste the energy on ranting.

soleil said...

I don't mind venting posts on blogs that don't normally do it. Everyone has a moment and sometimes writing it out helps to let go of the situations. And sometimes a person may want some feedback or advice. If I have something to offer, I will leave a supportive comment. However, if I just come across someone's blog and it seems to be all ranting and complaining, I just move on.

cindysloveofbooks said...

Great post. Bloggers who do this turn me off completely. I understand having a bad day and perhaps blogging about it but if its constant it gets to be to much and sadly I turn away and leave.

The same goes for bloggers who constantly have to stir the pot and cause drama. Just when you think things have calmed down they are at it again.

There is too much going on in the world for all this and I think you couldn't have said it better.

kayerj said...

I tend to side step chronic complainers :0 I figure my time spent reading needs to make me a better person.

I did have one faithful follower and commenter that was a royal complainer. She has over 200 followers and honestly I just don't see what they get out of reading her posts. I did stop following, but she still visits me from time to time.

I don't mind occassional complainers because as a rule it takes a lot of pressure before a occassional's will complain.

Have a nice weekend--I'll be gone next week and I don't know if I'll have access to a computer. So I might miss monday movies but I'll pick my survivor team today.

Izzybella said...

Dude, my dog's bladder totally pisses me off.

Kidding. But that one made me laugh. :)

I have to admit I have used my blog to vent plenty of times. This is food for thought, actually. I do leave supportive comments on complaining posts, but I like to poke fun too.

Makes sense though. I enjoy hanging out with positive people. I have friends (we'll call them jehara friends) who after I've spent time with them, leave me happy and relaxed. I also have had friends who just make me exhausted. There's always drama, blah, blah. So it's the same concept. I completely understand.

Sandy Nawrot said...

The occasional vent can sometimes be funny. But there are a few on here that are like Eeyore EVERY SINGLE WEEK and it gets old. Everyone has bad weeks, but when the weeks turn to months, time to move on!

Margot said...

Basically, I'm in agreement with everyone else. I can tolerate an occasional rant but, if it becomes habitual, I move on. I will confess there is a tiny little part of me that sometimes enjoys some of these rants. I think it's the voyeur part of me that likes to see the crazy side of these normally normal people.

Heather G. said...

I think it depends. I agree if that is all they complain about every day...yeah, that is annoying. But venting can be very therapeutic for those horribly bad days!

Susan said...

Believe me, I have enough drama in my life without wanting to hear nothing but negativity in someone else's. I'm with occasional vent can be funny and necessary. I mean, really, does a person ALWAYS have sunny days? It helps to know that they are 3-dimensional.

Japan and other tragedies certainly help to put things in perspective, but they also shouldn't negate your valid feelings and reactions to what's happening in your own life. I've often said that pain is relevant to your own experience. If you've never lost a child, it can be tragic to you if your child breaks an arm. You may never have had a child be arrested for drugs/shoplifting/vandalism (and I hope to God you never do), but your feelings are still valid if your child got an F on their report card.

Well, that was probably something that wasn't quite pertinent to your post, but it came out anyway. Sorry for using your forum for stating my platform. That wasn't venting, was it? :)

Beth F said...

Too late to the party to add anything new. Even humorous complaining can get to be too much.

Anonymous said...

I admit that too much anger in a post makes me uncomfortable. I have one blog that I follow that have way too much complaining, but mixed in with all of that is some stuff I really like. But for the most part I try and skip over habituial complaining.

Jenny Girl said...

I can't think of anyone I read or follow who is a habitual complainer. I know I try not to be. If I bitch I try to balance it out. But then again I always try to see the positive in life. My glass is always half-full.
Besides Debbie Downer I also use Negative Nancy :)