Tuesday, July 12, 2011

ON FUN ~ Put On A Happy Face...

Image courtesy Peyri via Flickr

At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"No one else is in charge of your happiness but you. You are the CEO of your joy."
~ LESSON #25

Boy is that lesson true. You can spend all your life waiting around for someone else to come along and make you happy. In love, in work, in spirit. And you will miss out on so many opportunities for happiness in the process.

Like everything else, if you want it done right, you've got to do it yourself. Wallowing around waiting for someone else to solve your problems is wasteful. Your time and my time here is so precious. Use it most productively by being active, not passive.

One thing that I learned in my twenties was that when I was dwelling on my lack of a Prince Charming all it did was make me more unattractive to people out there. When I decided that I didn't need a Prince Charming in order to go out and enjoy myself, I started having a good time, smiling more and being self-sufficient about my happiness. Then out of the blue a suitor would show up interested in a date.

When things haven't always worked well for me financially, I didn't just whine about it and wait for a bank or sugar daddy to come along and save the day. I learned how to budget and work with my debt. I felt proud of myself for working hard to find a way out of trouble and back to saving pennies. I enjoyed and appreciated the treats I had because I gave them to myself.

When life has just not been fair to my loved ones, all that I know how to do is to provide normalcy for them. It makes me happy to make other people happy. So yes, although others can make you happy, in the end, only you decide what to accept and what to create for yourself. If you're going to sit in a corner waiting for someone else to make you happy, you'll be sadder than you ever imagined.


Sandy Nawrot said...

That is what I love about you! You are self-sufficient and run on your own steam, not someone else's. And see what all that positive energy got you? Your own Prince Bumble, or Sugar Bumble!

Little Ms Blogger said...

I'm always amused when people think another person is responsible for their happiness.

I learned after my divorce that I wouldn't be ready to date until I was happy being alone. I love my husband, but know I don't need someone else to make me happy. However, it's fun to share my happiness with someone.

Anonymous said...

Well said, Mizz Bumble! I think that's part of what makes marriage so hard for people at the beginning. You can be happy together, but you can't get all of your happiness from someone else, even your spouse. That's a lot of pressure to put on someone else!
I've never been great at budgeting money and am lucky that I met someone who is good at keeping it. It tends to go right through my fingers ;)

Gwen@ChewDigestBooks.com said...

"When life has just not been fair to my loved ones, all that I know how to do is to provide normalcy for them." That sentence is total gold for me. I wish that some in my family could learn to do that, so many chicken littles, running around making me crazy and achieving nothing.

Tami said...

Oh so true! And further...when someone else DOES have the opportunity to make you happy - whether its by picking up their dirty socks, watching a movie with you, listening to you talk about your day, or buying you a Mercedes - you must TELL them. If you sit and wait for your significant other, family or friends to telepathically know what you need or want, you are going to be massively disappointed. A dozen roses because you mentioned "I would love it if you brought me roses" is better than no roses at all!

Kathleen said...

To this I can only say AMEN!!

ds said...


kayerj said...

your happy face comes through in your writing :)