Image courtesy MSCHAUT @ Amish Community
At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.
"Make peace with your past so it doesn't screw up the present."
~ LESSON #11
We all have something in our past that we dwell upon. Something that we wish had gone differently. Sometimes it is something we did and other times it is something that was done to us. And no matter how hard we try, it can't be changed. So why do we spend so much energy trying to do just that?
All that you can do with your past is build upon it. Accept it as a part of who you are and then figure out how to move forward in the direction you want. If you don't, it will do nothing but freeze you in time. You will be stuck there - on a plateau. Maybe you are lonely there. Or furious. Perhaps distraught. Or lost. It sounds cliche or rehab-speak to say that the first step is to acknowledge whatever that issue is. But that is really the only way to allow yourself to move on from things. To live in the present and direct your future course.
Ignoring or suppressing feelings eats away at your core and causes stress, unhappiness and pulls your focus away from where you would like it to be. You can't help other people until you help yourself. Admit how you feel to yourself and then allow yourself to LET IT GO. Then you can focus on the people in your life that provide positive vibes. Activities that you enjoy. New things that may be scary to try but could lead to great rewards.
It all sounds easy when in reality it is a very hard thing to do. But locking it all away doesn't work. You can survive, but you won't reach your potential in life if you do.
All that you can do with your past is build upon it. Accept it as a part of who you are and then figure out how to move forward in the direction you want. If you don't, it will do nothing but freeze you in time. You will be stuck there - on a plateau. Maybe you are lonely there. Or furious. Perhaps distraught. Or lost. It sounds cliche or rehab-speak to say that the first step is to acknowledge whatever that issue is. But that is really the only way to allow yourself to move on from things. To live in the present and direct your future course.
Ignoring or suppressing feelings eats away at your core and causes stress, unhappiness and pulls your focus away from where you would like it to be. You can't help other people until you help yourself. Admit how you feel to yourself and then allow yourself to LET IT GO. Then you can focus on the people in your life that provide positive vibes. Activities that you enjoy. New things that may be scary to try but could lead to great rewards.
It all sounds easy when in reality it is a very hard thing to do. But locking it all away doesn't work. You can survive, but you won't reach your potential in life if you do.
7 comments:
I find I pull those thoughts, those moments up, when I am most tired or not feeling well. I'm really, really hard on myself sometimes and I have to actually say out loud "Quit being so hard on yourself, Lin" and then I worry about me talking to me and the cycle begins again.
I think it is in Pretty Woman where she says "Why is it so easy to believe the bad things people say about us and so hard to believe the good they say?" I try to keep that in mind.
Wise words, if sometimes difficult to act upon...
Someone said you are what you believe. When we believe the worst things about ourselves it becomes self fulfilling. It's so important to focus on the better parts of ourselves. Constant cleansing is the only way. Not easy however when we get busy.
This one is so hard for me to do but I have learned to do it. Wise words Molly!
and with you :-)
Regret is a heavy companion. I agree, come to terms with it and move on.
Your post and the comments have been the perfect way to end my night :)
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