Tell that to Newtown citizens. Because they need something to pull them through right now. Tell that to citizens across this country for that matter. We all need someone to lead us through this minefield of horror.
In this tragedy, staying put is the problem. I am stuck in that day. My mind won't let me jump ahead. And so getting through what life has handed me is problematic.
I know that the point of this lesson is to take things one day at a time. To not get so caught up stressing over all of the big picture details that you become too overwhelmed to survive the most basic and key steps. But I just want to skip that part. I don't want to process pain; utter torture of the heart and soul. I don't want to plod along and through challenges. I want mommy to kiss it and make it all better. Pat me on the head and send me off on my merry little way, joyful and carefree again.
Instead, I am stuck. Running in place. Groundhog Day. Over and over, experiencing fear in my heart and tears in my eyes. Trying to figure out a way to express my sorrow and support for folks in Newtown who will be forced to go through the depths of despair in order to pull through to the other side. A long and desperate emotional journey. One that they will try to forge through by focusing on something else fiercely that will allow them to move through one day into the next; another family member, a joyful memory, a new cause.
I have my young son to hug and hold tight. I think that I have time for the world to get its shit together, before I have to nudge him out of the nest and give him wings to fly. But we never really know how long that time is. It certainly isn't forever, so I choose to stay put in the day I'm in. To marvel at and treasure how we're living through today instead of living in fear of what tomorrow could bring. And that's how I'm moving through what life has dealt us. I'm the lucky one. I know that. And I feel less guilty about it because I appreciate it. But when I figure out a way to help the healing of Newtown, I'll be better able to sleep at night.