ON SPORTS ~ Can't Forgive, Can't Forget...

At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"Forgive everyone everything."

~ LESSON #28

I can forgive. I had an evil ex-boyfriend who was a total a-hole. But I forgave him for sending me into financial despair and emotional chaos. It wasn't his fault he was a manipulative, lazy, jealousy fueled sweet talker. As he liked to point out to me all the time, he came from a poor, broken home and he did what he needed to do to survive. It was my fault for falling for it and being afraid to get out. I forgave him because it led me to a relationship with Andy. If I hadn't dated a total dick I never would have appreciated the good guy I always felt I hadn't deserved. So thank you, evil ex-boyfriend. You are forgiven.

But I have to draw the line at my forgiveness with the Red Sox. This week they put the finishing touch on the most monumental of all free-falls, leaving them one game short of the playoffs. And I watched it all. Even though I was bleary eyed the entire season due to being pregnant, giving birth and raising a newborn baby, I still found time for their games. I devoted a lot of time, heart and energy into this team. I defended their shortcomings. I analyzed and evaluated and decided that they were capable of success. I watched their abysmal April beginning rise up to the best record in baseball throughout the summer. And then I watched September come and turn into the other bookend of disgrace. They squandered their stronghold on the Wildcard and blew the final game of the season with two outs in the 9th, while the Tampa Bay Rays were mounting an insane comeback in extra innings to win their parallel game giving them the playoff spot instead.

In my world, that kind of a season is unforgivable. To put yourself out there as the cream of the crop. To give millions of dollars to talent you didn't properly evaluate. To be incapable of keeping said athletes healthy. To bombard fans with silly promos about how much you care about us. How you need us to be there to get you through the challenges. What a load of crap.

This team was monumentally dismal. Injuries did them in last year. So you think they would have learned how to prepare for them. Or to prevent them. Or to avoid players that always get them. Where was the cohesiveness? Even when they were on top of the baseball standings there wasn't a sense of team - just a collection of really great athletes who did the best they could and went home. Which is cool when you are winning. And not enough when you aren't.

No. I can forgive. But I can't forgive everyone everything. Call me greedy. Call me spoiled. Boston has certainly had its share of championships recently - Sox included. But all that has done is raise the bar. Heighten expectations. The Sox are like a member of my family. Until they start treating me that way, I will withhold my forgiveness. Because sometimes, it just feels better to kick somebody in the ass.

ON BLOGGING ~ Blogging Buddies Take On Boston...

This is the story of how my tootsies above came to be so tired.

As cool as I think it is to meet so many wonderful people in the blogosphere, I think it is even better to meet those same folks in person. Andy and I were lucky enough to meet up with former blogger Matty last summer (he has since stopped blogging - hope it wasn't something we said!) and I thought it would be a while before we got to cross paths with any other bloggers since our baby Bumble-to-be was keeping us from taking further vacations. Sammy was born and it was abundantly clear that we were never taking another trip again and my time in the blogosphere dwindled for a little while. But then came an e-mail from Sandy of You've GOTTA Read This! to say that she was going to be coming to Boston for a quick weekend business trip with her hubby and that she hoped to meet me!

For those of you not familiar with Sandy, she is a book blogger extraordinaire, providing kick-ass reviews, funny snippets from her life and some pretty cool photos from her travels. The fact that she has two children and actually takes vacations gives me hope that this will be possible for us again some day ;0) Sandy was also one of the first blogging friends that I found. We began blogging around the same time and neither of us knew any of the ropes. We bumbled our way through things - each having different paths and styles but sharing a love for blogging, cats, books books books and movies - especially Christmas Vacation. So to have the opportunity to meet her in person was really special.

I left little Sammy at home with his Dad for some bonding time and headed into Boston on a recent Saturday morning to show Sandy my view of Boston in a brief window of four hours. That was a tiny amount of time for the two of us to cram in personal chatter and get to know each other for real. You know what I mean? You can "know" someone through e-mail, texts, Facebook or even phone conversations, but having the same conversation face to face is an entirely different beast. True colors come out - no time to plan your thoughts and pick your words like in written form. No time to hide those knee-jerk facial expressions like you can over the phone. It can be nerve wracking meeting someone that you've already deemed to be a close friend based on virtual conversations. Sets the bar high.

Well. I am happy to report that Sandy is as terrific in person as she is sitting miles and miles away. We blabbed about our families like old friends and fit in some touristy things at a fast pace along the way. Here's a photo tour of our day:

It wouldn't be a visit with me to Boston without a trip to Fenway Park. Sandy was a good sport and took the tour of one of my favorite places on Earth...

Then we made our way over to the Freedom Trail since it was such a beautiful day and followed it along through a portion of the city, taking in some historic spots:

It wouldn't be a visit with Sandy without books involved. Look at this hole in the wall book store we stumbled across...

All of that walking around is exhausting and we still had more to see. We stopped for a few slices of Boston's best pizza when we got to Faneuil Hall...

Boston is a very picturesque city. The Italian North End is one of the prettier neighborhoods. In addition to having the best restaurants packed side by side on cobbled streets, it is also home to the Old North Church and Paul Revere's famous ride...

We noticed this memorial artwork installation honoring the victims whose lives have been lost in Iraq and Afghanistan...

We took a look at some houses of worship that are very different from the European cathedrals Sandy was more familiar with...

Finally, we stopped at Lulu's for some decadent cupcakes - a trend that apparently has not found its way to Sandy's home in Orlando...

Here's a photo of Sandy and the Bumble as proof of her visit. If you'd like to pose with the Bumble (or find out what the bumbles behind the Bumble actually look like) you'll just have to come visit us in Boston. Sammy's keeping us from getting to your neck of the world anytime soon.

ON FUN ~ Birthday Stretch...

I woke up this morning looking much like my little Sammy up there - scrunched and squirmy, looking to stretch out and pry one eye open at a time to grudgingly meet the day. Of course, the reason I was so grumpy was because it was far too early for this Bumble to be getting up but right on time for baby Bumble. But my waking up process was made better by the fact that Andy greeted me with birthday wishes, reminding me that today wasn't just another day.

Today I turn 41. Some days it feels like old lady territory. Other days it feels no different than my 20's. For me, age is truly just a number because age is relative. Old to me may be young to you. Or vice versa. Ask any kid to describe their twenty-something teacher and they'll say that they are super old. I might think that little old lady at the grocery store is nearing the end of the line but she considers herself a spring chicken compared to her poor old fogey friends she visits stuck in the nursing home.

I don't have time to feel out my age. I have to blog standing up for God's sake because it is impossible to sit down with a baby strapped to your chest in a carrier. Are those sore joints and back pains I feel stabbing at me because of toting sweet Sammy around all day in my arms or because that's just what happens in your 40's? Like I said, I don't have time to figure that out. He keeps me busy and active and that keeps me young.

I may not feel young when I bend over to hoist him onto my shoulder for a burp or a snuggle, but how old I am is the last thing I'm thinking about at that moment. I'm thinking about how little he is and how he's growing up too fast. Doesn't he know to take it slow and savor everything? That another day in the world is a blessing to be appreciated? That he shouldn't rush things? Before you know it, he'll be old like me.

I'm going to celebrate another year of my life by cracking open a cold one tonight and most likely promptly falling asleep on the couch before 9:00. But that lack of energy isn't because I'm old. It's because newborns suck the life out of you. The best gift will be Andy getting up in the middle of the night to feed Sammy. But then of course I'd miss looking into that baby's sweet face and being enveloped in love. Guess I'll scrunch up my face, pry open my eyes, stretch and drag these old bones out of bed after all.

ON HOME ~ Supervising The Shed...

Waaay back in November, 2009 Andy decided it was time to save our shed. Or rather, he could no longer avoid the issue. As I shared with you previously, when we bought our house in July, 2004 the shed was in a sorry state. It was ignored for several years and in 2007 when we built an addition, it avoided demolition but escaped repair. When a refinancing approval forced the issue, Andy finally gave the shed attention. For about a month, at which time the snow arrived and delayed further progress until the Spring.

Since the shed project began, a lot of things have happened in the world. Oil decimated the Gulf. Miners were rescued in Chile. Bin Laden was found. And bit by bit Andy chipped away at the shed. One thing happened in our personal part of the world to help motivate the shed's overhaul completion - I got pregnant and gave birth to Sammy. I was determined to have that shed finished before the baby arrived.

After countless hours of nagging, endless trips back and forth to Home Depot, extremely sore muscles and a decimated budget, I am happy to report that Andy FINALLY got that shed completed just before Sammy came into the world the end of July. He has turned an unstable, rotted, leaky structure into a sturdy, attractive and fully functional man-cave - er, I mean, shed. In addition to storing all of that stuff Andy likes to putter with in the yard, it also has a workbench area for him to play with his power tools, shelving for all of his softball gear and that hideous Baby Jeter trophy, space for firewood to stay dry and a wood stove to keep Andy and his hockey buddies warm in the winter. All he needs is a TV out there and he could move in.

For all of my nagging, teasing and complaining, I am very proud of his hard work. Other than some assistance with structural improvements and electrical upgrades, he did it all himself. He designed and implemented the sliding track barn doors. He nailed on each cedar shingle by hand. He put on all the roofing shingles and painted all the trim and the doors. I supervised. What a team.

Before and After views of the shed entrance off of patio...

Before and After views of the shed from the back yard...

Before and After views of the shed from the neighbor's...

Before and After views of the shed from the street...

Before and After views of the shed storage area...

Before and After views of the shed workbench area...

Before and After views of the shed interior looking out the door...

ON HOME ~ Boston's Healing...

At the entrance of Boston's Public Garden you will find the city's memorial to 09/11. The poetry selected for the memorial, describing the surrounding environment, is a very serene and contemplative piece which I feel does well to honor those lives lost 10 years ago and perhaps aids in healing some painful memories for the souls left behind.

ON FAMILY ~ Choices...

At the age of 45, writer Regina Brett wrote a column for the Cleveland Plain Dealer listing 45 lessons that life had taught her thus far. As a breast cancer survivor, many of those lessons were learned the hard way. Five years later she added five more lessons rounding her list up to 50 and turned her popular list into a book called God Never Blinks. I found her list to be entertaining, inspiring and thought provoking. I thought I would go through each of her lessons learned and write about how that lesson has or has not come up in my own life, now that I am 40 and feel old enough to have finally learned something.

"Always choose life."

~ LESSON #27

I'm not sure if Regina's lesson above is a Pro Life statement or the mantra of a cancer survivor. It could be applied in either way, and probably in many others. I was thinking about the abortion side of things just yesterday. I saw a bumper sticker that said "Smile. Your mother chose life." I got to thinking how that might not necessarily be true for some children of my generation since pregnant women prior to 1973 did not truly have a choice. Abortion was illegal and having one carried a big health risk to the woman, not to mention the societal implications involved.

I have always been supportive of a woman's right to choose. And I have also been a big admirer of adoptive parents and the emotional challenge the world of adoption creates for all involved. It has always made me wonder why a birth defect would be reason to give up on a pregnancy, since the sweetest person I know is mentally retarded and thriving in this world, bringing joy to everyone she meets. I don't think that I personally could go through with an abortion, but understand that there are situations where others could feel differently and they have the right to make a different decision.

Having brought a little person into this world recently, I am filled with excitement and wonder over the person he will grow to be. I look into those eyes pictured above - those bright shining pools of love - and think that he will see and accomplish great things. I didn't choose life - it was never an option for me. He was wanted and hoped for, for a very long time. As far as I can tell, life chose me in this situation.

As for those facing their own death, I have known some who gave in. I wouldn't say that they gave up. People diagnosed with terminal diseases are fighters. They don't give up, they fight. But sometimes that fight wears them down. And it has been so long and painful - for them and for their loved ones - that they give in to the fight believing that their loved ones will be better off, or that their soul will find peace. I have also known some who dipped into wells of energy and determination that I didn't know were possible. They have seen their loved ones as motivation or inspiration. They beat the odds; survived their sentence. They chose to live and used that desire to aid in their return to wellness.

Life is precious. There is no doubt about that. That is why so many see suicide as selfish. I know that is not true. Mental illness, extreme pain, abandonment, addiction - these things can create a world of pain that souls live with alone in their heads. They don't feel there is a choice. Life is excruciating. They are looking for a solution. Death appears to be the only option. Suicide is a great tragedy to me. Those who need help the most are silent in life and the rest of us only learn of the depths of their inner despair until it is too late.

I will always choose life. For myself - by making healthy choices, by following a safer path, by acknowledging moments where I need the help of others to get me through. For those whose lives I am able to protect - by raising my son, by caring for my friends, my family, and of course my kitty. I value life and celebrate the gift that it is. I try to be productive with mine. Choosing life is a powerful decision. Living a good life honors that choice.